Research Podcast

For this blog post, I listened to the podcast "The Art of Listening: How to Master Relationships Through Communication" with Chris Lee. This podcast focuses on the principles of being a generous listener, and how that can benefit your communication and therefore your personal relationships. 

The podcast mentioned how about "70% of communication is not the words you say" (Lee). This makes communication larger dependent on tone, facial expressions and gestures. This reminds me of the concept of a "channel-rich context" from the textbook, which describes how some conversations "involve many different communication channels at once" (Green). This is especially important in face to face conversations, and an element we miss in online conversations. This is why Chris Lee recommends that for important conversations a face to face conversation, or at least talking on the phone, allows you to be a much better listener. If I think back to important conversations I've had with friends or in relationships about our relationship, I always prefer to call. In texting not being able to detect tone can cause a lot more problems than it does solve them. 

However, in the textbook, it mentioned how we have actually adapted past this need to converse while having nonverbal cues. This is due to how now we text so frequently, with "the average American teenager sends and receives 30 text messages per day, or about 900 a month" (Green). Due to this Green believes that since humans are so powerfully driven to connect with one another, we make up the lack of nonverbal cues or find clever ways around the lack of them. 

Another piece of the podcast I really enjoyed and found helpful was the idea of carving a safe space for listening. Asking someone if they are ready to share, or where and when they would like to talk, is an essential part of being a good listener. Minimizing distractions is an important part of this too - no phones and full focus is helpful. 

I can't help but wonder what this podcast would look like however if it included more perspectives. As someone with ADHD, I found that these ideas about what make a good listener came from a neurotypical point of view. The speaker mentioned how a hallmark of a bad listener is taking a piece of what someone is sharing and relating it to yourself. I have a tendency to do this as a way to connect to people. This is a common trait in folks with ADHD as it helps us actively listen and engage, as focus can often times be difficult. This article gives helpful tips for listening with ADHD; it includes using a fidget to stay present, repeating back with someone says to stay focused and show engagement as well as avoiding multitasking.

Sources:

Green, J. Communicating Online. McGraw-Hill Create. https://bookshelf.vitalsource.com/books/9781307876413 

Lewis. (2022, August 12). The art of listening: How to master relationships through communication. Lewis Howes. https://lewishowes.com/podcast/chris-lee-art-of-listening/